It's been 10 days since I returned from my much-needed holibobs, I had such a wonderful time relaxing and unwinding, but now it's a distant memory. I promised myself that I’d make some positive changes to my routine, like drinking more water, eating healthier & being more active, also focus on writing my blog and engage with some potential podcast guest speakers.

"Procrastination is not a time-management problem; it’s an emotion-management problem." - Mel Robbins, I'm a big fan of Mels - love her podcast and her book “The 5 Second Rule”.

It's like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I put off the simplest of tasks because I worry that I won't be able to do them well enough or that I'll fail. But at the same time, I'm also afraid of success. What if I do achieve my goals? What then? Will I be able to handle the pressure and responsibility that comes with success? These thoughts make me doubt myself and my abilities, and I end up putting things off. It's like I'm caught in a cycle of self-sabotage.

I know taking small steps each day can lead to big results and by addressing underlying beliefs and emotions, and staying committed to my goals, I can overcome procrastination and make the changes I need to live a healthier and more fulfilling life. It’s all about progress, not perfection.

We live in a world where we're accustomed to instant gratification, whether it's through fast food, online shopping, or social media likes. But the truth is, I know that making changes takes effort and commitment and recognize that progress is not always linear.

I like to think I am a positive role model for my children. As a mother, it is my responsibility to teach them to love themselves for who they are and not just for how they look. I want them to grow up knowing that a person's worth is not defined by their physical appearance but rather by their actions, values, and character.

At the same time, I also want to encourage a healthy lifestyle. Teaching them the importance of taking care of their bodies and making healthy choices. It's a delicate balance, as I don't want to give the impression that physical appearance is all that matters.

I know that my words and actions have a huge impact on my children, it's important for me to strike a balance between encouraging a healthy lifestyle while also emphasizing that our worth as individuals goes far beyond our physical appearance. I want my children to grow up knowing that they are valued for who they are, not just how they look.

But during my daughters football teams end of season presentation disco while enthusiastically performing the YMCA I wanted to take my jacket off to cool down, but the thought of exposing my blotchy bingo wings filled me with dread and then came the Macarena, first my ability to recall the moves was shockingly lacking, I mean it’s pretty much the same moves over again but my co-ordination was shot to bits and to top it off I couldn't get my arms across my body or wiggle my hips with any semblance of sexiness. I tried to play it off with a laugh, but deep down, I felt embarrassed and self-conscious. It was a sobering reminder that my body isn't what it used to be.

As much as I want to be the cool mom on the dance floor, the truth is, I was happy to be there, wobbly bits and all, creating memories with my daughter and the other moms. But seriously that’s a goal right there, I want to be able to do Macarena MILF style, I want to be able to do that thing you did when you were at school where you'd wrap your arms around yourself and fake making out. They do say when you're on weight loss journey to not focus on the number on the scales, I feel this is efficient alternative to measure my progress.

I am tipping the scales @ (I’m not ready to share that number) I’m the heaviest I have ever been and could do with shifting 5 stone (70lbs). Now before someone reads this and starts pointing fingers & getting their knickers in a knot, there is no fat shaming here. I know many a gorgeous plus size lovelies that are fit, happy and sexy but for me and my body the extra baggage I’m carrying is a hindrance to both my mental and physical wellbeing.

Knowing what I need to do but feeling overwhelmed about where to start got me stuck in a guilt / shame spiral, berating myself for not having taken action 6 month or 6 years ago. Why and how did I let things get so far off track?.

I’ll remind you of a little cautionary tale - there was once frog who lived in a small pond. It was a peaceful place, and the frog lived a contented life. One day, the temperature of the water in the pond started to rise, but the frog did not notice. The water kept getting hotter and hotter until it reached boiling point.

The frog started to feel uncomfortable, but it did not realize the danger it was in. Instead, the frog tried to adjust to the heat and hoped that it would soon get better. Unfortunately, the water kept getting hotter and hotter until it was too late. The frog eventually boiled to death without realizing what was happening.

I am that frog,… I became complacent and oblivious to dangers and accustomed to poor habits and routines failing to recognize the negative impact they were having. Now thankfully I am not a boiled to death frog, but I do feel like a stuffed foie gras goose, bloated and overfed.

Setting some new habits and boundaries in my life may be met with some resistance but these changes are important to me and I'm determined to keep working on myself, even if it means making some people including myself uncomfortable in the short term.

"Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day." Mark Twain, ( from Brian Tracy book "Eat That Frog!")

In other words, tackle the most challenging and important tasks of the day first, before moving on to less important ones.